tip the veal ...

jay's advice: get it while it's hot!

2009-10-22T09:35:00.002-04:00

jay's advice: keep your head up when in the weeds

2009-10-16T09:39:00.000-04:00

2009-10-15T22:01:00.002-04:00

2009-10-15T21:57:00.000-04:00

October 15, 2009 , 4:39 pm

A Reprieve for Tavern on the Green

By Glenn Collins

Preventing a mid-December shutting of Tavern on the Green, a federal judge said on Thursday that the landmark restaurant in Central Park — which filed for bankruptcy last month — will be able to remain open during the lucrative Christmas season and accept restaurant and party reservations through New Year’s Eve.
The current operators of the restaurant had threatened to lay off all of its more than 400 employees in December unless its landlord, the parks department, permitted it to remain past the expiration of its operating license at midnight on Dec. 31. The operators, the LeRoy family, said they needed additional time to auction and remove fixtures, artwork and furnishings that are worth more than $8 million.

2009-10-15T21:53:00.003-04:00

"Waiter, is the fish fresh?"

2009-10-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

"Why, it's downright rude, sir!"

Miley Cyrus Angered Waiter At Outback Steakhouse

2009-10-14T23:33:00.001-04:00

Miley Cyrus reportedly angered a restaurant staff when she failed to leave a tip.

The “Hannah Montana” star star spent $70 on food for herself and her sister at the Outback Steakhouse
in New York. Unfortunately she failed to tip when she handed $100 and kept all the change.
A spokesperson for the teen star revealed that she made a genuine mistake in failing to tip because she did not know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside.

jay's advice: be careful with whom you dine

2009-10-14T00:27:00.002-04:00

2009-10-14T00:10:00.003-04:00

I thought I saw a black leather bag under the table, but when I grabbed it I realized it was a man's foot! Oops!

2009-10-13T14:54:00.001-04:00

Edina: "No, I'm not drinking. I'm not bloody drinking."
Patsy: "What shall you drink then?"
Edina: "I shall drink water."
Patsy: (blank stare)
Edina: "It's a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whiskey."

~ Absolutely Fabulous

a poem by Clarence Major

2009-10-13T13:25:00.001-04:00

Waiter in a California Vietnamese Restaurant

With the smell of firebombing

still in his nose,

he brings our plates to the table

pausing for a vertiginous instant,

holding them as though they are two stones.

When he tries to smile his face

turns purple like sky above

that Red River delta.

He once stood against a tree

with both arms above his head,

like somebody about to dance

flamenco, but he wasn't, it was

the time of the Spring Offensive,

and he was looking into the barrel

of a rifle held by a boy

whose trigger finger

had turned to stone.

2009-10-13T13:08:00.002-04:00

2009-10-12T22:20:00.000-04:00

jay's advice: be open-minded

2009-10-12T21:46:00.002-04:00

jay's advice: be subtle

2009-10-11T11:19:00.001-04:00

"Did you have reservations?"

2009-10-10T11:24:00.001-04:00

"Yes, but we decided to come anyways."

jay's advice: get a room

2009-10-10T11:19:00.002-04:00

2009-10-09T23:37:00.001-04:00

jay's advice: don't eat anything on a dare

2009-10-09T23:30:00.003-04:00

2009-10-08T09:58:00.003-04:00

"I'll have a coffee"

"Espresso?"

"Not really, take your time"

jay's advice: listen to your waiter

2009-10-08T08:26:00.002-04:00

Waiter Fired Over Tweets About Actress

2009-10-07T23:16:00.002-04:00

6 October 2009 3:06 PM, PDT | WENN | See recent WENN news »
A Beverly Hills waiter has been fired after revealing actress Jane Adams walked out of his restaurant without paying her bill on social networking website Twitter.com.
Jon Barrett-Ingels told the world the Little Children actress forgot to settle a $13.44 bill, revealing "her agent called and payed (sic) the following day. No tip!"
After reading the waiter's foolish tweet, Adams returned to the restaurant and handed over $3 to Barrett-Ingels, prompting the waiter to gush about the actress on Twitter.com.
The restaurant's bosses learned about the whole saga and fired the waiter, according to TheHuffingtonPost.com. »

" Sex on the Beach, please "

2009-10-05T23:23:00.005-04:00

"Well, that sounds great, but would you like something to drink first?"

jay's advice: check your fly

2009-10-05T08:01:00.003-04:00

Oh, waiter ... ?

2009-10-04T20:31:00.014-04:00

Donna asks:

"Jay, Unless service is marginal at best, I always leave at least a 20% tip. For places with the Benihana idea (large grill, chefs cooking in front of you with some "showmanship") are tips to be separated? I went to a local place last year and put my 20% tip down, but then wondered if the waitress who took the bill (and only served us a couple iced teas) gave the majority of the tip to the chefs who performed for us and prepared our meal. Should I have tipped the waitresses their due and then separately tipped the chefs?"

your waiter says:

" Restaurants usually have clear-cut tip-sharing policies, Donna, so you needn't worry about stiffing anyone. Waiters routinely tip bartenders and busboys and runners, and at Benihana style restaurants, they tip the cooks. And don't forget that the cooks are paid at least $7.25/hour, while the waitstaff may be paid as little as $2.13/hour in direct wages! Any time you are dining and you feel that someone has gone out of their way to improve your experience and you want to show your appreciation, an additional tip directly to that person is always appreciated. But don't take it away from the waiter; someone else already is. "

thanks for asking, jay

"You're giving me lousy service!"

2009-10-04T08:27:00.001-04:00

"Then give me a lousy tip."

Review: Jack's Oyster House

2009-10-04T08:21:00.084-04:00

" Welcome Home "

     When I decided to do restaurant reviews for this blog, I knew immediately which restaurant should be my first: Jack's Oyster House. Jack's is unquestionably an Albany landmark, perennially featured in local papers; a place where judges and politicians and the occasional celebrity dine alongside people who like to dine alongside judges and politicians and the occasional celebrity; where smiling suits say "welcome home" and tuxedo-clad waiters reassure you that "the answer is always yes." It was a place where I had worked five double shifts a week for almost five years, and I had heard of an expansion, so I was curious to see how much it had changed since I left fifteen years ago.
   Well, for starters, the main entrance that I had walked through more often than most local judges and politicians was gone, replaced by a third large window to match the original two. The main entrance is now located further down, where the door to the TV studio used to be, where Alan Chartok might have emerged to vomit before his segment aired. Now, instead of walking into the impressive main hall, guests enter a comparatively small space. Our smiling hostess (who never said "welcome home") gave us a perfectly comfortable booth in the new dining room (where the bar used to be) but I told her I would prefer the main hall and she obliged my whim sweetly.
   In spite of renovations, the main hall has maintained its charm. Huge reproductions of old black and white photos cover wood-paneled walls, documenting Albany's most memorable snowstorms and old trolleys; I always liked those. The booths are still black, the linens are still white, and the floor is still a black and white checkerboard. And they still have scrod on the menu, although now it's billed as "Massachusetts Cod". Oh, and Mayor Jennings was there in his power suit and red tie, talking up these people and then those people before finally settling down to his meal. ("Is it an election year?" "Yep.") Politician? Check.
     The biggest change was the staff. When I worked there, there were no waitresses (never had been) only waiters, and mostly old ... I mean, "seasoned" waiters that seemed to have been there since the Shucking of the First Oyster . And while the bow ties and the short black jackets with the yellow "Jack's" logo looked the same, the waitstaff now are mostly young men and women.
   Our busboy (a young man) gave us tinny ice water and warm rolls (no salt rolls?) with soft butter, and then apologized that our waiter was very busy. I glanced around the room; the dozen or so customers seemed lost in the grand space. I was ready for a cosmopolitan and Himself wanted His usual bourbon manhattan straight up. We barely had a chance to look over the menu (the first half is all blue ribbons and back-story) when our busboy returned with drinks in hand (no tray?) My cosmo arrived safely (phew!) but when the first sip of His manhattan dribbled over the edge of the glass, our busboy apologized for the clumsiness, and once again for the very busy waiter.
      I wondered if ours might be that seasoned waiter who was very busy schmoozing that family over there. I hoped so. He reminded me of some of the characters that I used to work with: chatty, animated and personable. As it turns out, our waiter was one of the young ones, nice enough, just not very chatty; and although he did tell us that he had been working there for several years, he never once reassured us that "the answer is always yes".
   I loved my piping hot corn chowder (served in a white china cup instead of a shallow pewter bowl); the corn was al dente and the potatoes few. The salad with funny dressing (Italian with gorgonzola ... the waiter cracked a smile when I asked for it) was just right; grape tomatoes are somehow classier than cherry tomatoes, don't you think? And I like it when the cucumber is peeled and seeded because I hate to repeat myself. I splurged and tore into a two and a half pound lobster, broiled. Himself raved about the Oyster Rockerfeller ("not too much Pernod") and for old time sake, I suppose, ordered the scrod ... er, I mean the Massachusetts cod (served on a white china plate instead of a piping hot skillet); He described it as "very good". Although we skipped dessert, I did notice that the Mississippi mud pie was glaringly absent from the menu; relative newcomer certified Master Chef Luc Pasquier must not have approved of the recipe. Or maybe he just renamed it.

"Could I have my scotch with a twist?"

2009-10-03T12:01:00.007-04:00

"Not tonight, sir; last time I threw out my back."

jay's advice: watch your step

2009-10-03T01:22:00.003-04:00

"The other night I went to a real nice family restaurant.

2009-10-03T01:02:00.003-04:00

Every table had an argument going."

~ George Carlin

the food is so good,

2009-10-03T00:29:00.005-04:00

you'll forget about the service!

nickel & dime

2009-10-02T11:41:00.015-04:00

See a penny, pick it up? I don't know ... they always look a little dirty to me. I mean, if it's on the booth I might grab it, but if it made it to the floor I leave it to be swept. But nickels and dimes are different somehow; because they're shiny, I guess, they look cleaner. So I usually pick them up. (Don't tell anyone this out of context, but I'll bend at the waist for a quarter!) Found coins are dropped in my tip pocket and come in handy for making change. Sometimes I even find currency. One night last year I found a fifty dollar bill crumpled up under 14, but I knew whose it was (a regular customer that's notorious for pulling out crumpled bills had just dined at that table) so I felt obliged to return it. But of course nickels and dimes are fair game.
One night last week I saw some garbage on the floor near 36, but my arms were full of 32's dirty dishes, and then there were buspans to carry and, oh yea ... who needed water? When I got around to it, I bussed the table and cleaned underneath, and for my efforts I found (along with a napkin and some breadcrust) one shiny dime ... and some tiny little Zip-loc bag? Hmm. What's this? A dime AND a nickel? Fair game.

jay's advice: excuse yourself if you feel nauseous

2009-10-01T23:44:00.002-04:00

"Nothing for me, thanks. I don't drink"

2009-10-01T22:54:00.004-04:00

"You've got to drink something, my dear ... you'll die of thirst!

Friendly's: chapter one

2009-10-01T12:37:00.014-04:00

The first restaurant to ever call me waiter was Friendly's (although at the time it was still Friendly Family Restaurant; they bowed to public pressure and added the "apostrophe S" about 20 years ago ... maybe 20 years from now they'll add an exclamation point!) I was given a navy and white houndstooth short-sleeved pullover in the scratchiest polyester possible and a "trainee" nametag which suggested patience to customers. None was required. Within weeks I had "achieved customer excellence" and the letters A and C and E proudly appeared above the letters j and a and y on my gold nametag. Within months I was training the new girls (it really was all girls at the time, except for me; I saw to it that memos and notes addressed to "waitresses" were changed to the gender-neutral title "servers" and I take credit for my small part in the ensuing evolution) Within a year I was asked to be a part of the Managers Training Program but I turned it down without any hesitation. I didn't want to be responsible for employee schedules and corporate paperwork, for hiring and firing, for long hours and locking the door. I just wanted my section, my tables, my guests, my audience ... and my cash!

Our waiter stood with a hot meal in each hand and asked "Who had the pork?"

2009-10-01T00:04:00.004-04:00

"Well, nobody yet."

jay's advice: don't dine with cheapskates

2009-09-30T17:08:00.001-04:00

jay's advice: be decisive

2009-09-30T14:05:00.001-04:00

"Waiter, what is the difference between your chianti and your chianti classico?"

2009-09-30T13:48:00.001-04:00

"Our chianti classico is ten dollars more delicious, sir."

get in shape! eat like a waiter!

2009-09-30T11:08:00.000-04:00

I've got the secret to getting in shape: eat and exercise at the same time! Nibble a handful of nuts and then slice fifty loaves of bread. Taste a mouthful of tuna and then move a mountain of dishes. Sample the sabayon and then speedwalk around the building. It works for me. Try it!

jay's advice: count your change

2009-09-30T09:04:00.001-04:00

jay's advice: just bring him the wheat toast

2009-09-30T01:05:00.000-04:00

The gentlemen were commenting and asking me about my facial hair when a lady at the table interrupted us, "I thought only women talked about that sort of thing."

2009-09-30T00:56:00.000-04:00

"Only women with facial hair!" I replied

jay's advice: avoid themed restaurants

2009-09-30T00:54:00.001-04:00

2009-09-30T00:50:00.002-04:00

Welcome!

2009-09-30T00:43:00.000-04:00

so glad you could join us! your waiter will be right with you. enjoy!